Tuesday, April 14, 2009
i don't want to be sad, i really don't. and i thought that everything after spring break would be perfect, but i guess perfection is just too much to hope for. now i know that cliche can always be true. i am happy, i really am, but then i realized that im still trap with things inside and that those things will also be there, no matter how hard i try to avoid them. sometimes at class i'd think about them and everything would come haunting me again, with memories so scary that i need a place to hold on, a place where i can feel safe. this is the only place i can write about this, because no one will actually see the story of my life, the things that i can't tell anyone, but myself.
1. i just don't get how some people can take one tiny little mistake and make it into something big. sure, we used to be close friends and i want to still be close friends, but avoiding me in the hallways and not talking to me gives me the hint that she doesn't want to be close anymore, if not friends. at first i thought it was just me but then she started ignoring me in the hallways, my hellos, and didn't invite me to sit with her but invited the friend next to me once. when we're in big groups she talks to everyone except me and sometimes shoots me dirty looks that she obviously wants me to see. i still want you as a friend and i don't know whats happening. please, please tell me whats wrong.
this is where true friends come in. they're the ones who helps you glue all the broken pieces together. they never leave and they fill your everydays with laughter and smiles. - again, cliche- but true (: they know when somethings wrong and helps you find the way out. they're the ones who relentlessly sit beside you, a shoulder to cry on, a pack of kleenex at reach, and when you look up and see their smiling faces, you know that things will be okay.
thank you for being my true friends, you know who you are :)
2. sometimes i start thinking about him again, and how everything would be a lot different if i actually did something. i let things go and as always, only have regrettions to remind me of what happened before and what could've happened. life is filled with what ifs, and sometimes what ifs takes over existence, and you only live with thoughts of the past, haunting you each and everyday. i want to rewind and make it right, i really want to, but i can't, and if i did, ill hurt someone else in between and i can never do that.
3. sometimes holding things in is too much. you want to let everything out, no secrets, nothing hidden, but you can't. because sometimes things get ugly and you feel oblige to keep it inside, at least until you find the way out.
sometimes the way out takes a long long time to find.
6. why be sad when you can be happy :)
1. i just don't get how some people can take one tiny little mistake and make it into something big. sure, we used to be close friends and i want to still be close friends, but avoiding me in the hallways and not talking to me gives me the hint that she doesn't want to be close anymore, if not friends. at first i thought it was just me but then she started ignoring me in the hallways, my hellos, and didn't invite me to sit with her but invited the friend next to me once. when we're in big groups she talks to everyone except me and sometimes shoots me dirty looks that she obviously wants me to see. i still want you as a friend and i don't know whats happening. please, please tell me whats wrong.
this is where true friends come in. they're the ones who helps you glue all the broken pieces together. they never leave and they fill your everydays with laughter and smiles. - again, cliche- but true (: they know when somethings wrong and helps you find the way out. they're the ones who relentlessly sit beside you, a shoulder to cry on, a pack of kleenex at reach, and when you look up and see their smiling faces, you know that things will be okay.
thank you for being my true friends, you know who you are :)
2. sometimes i start thinking about him again, and how everything would be a lot different if i actually did something. i let things go and as always, only have regrettions to remind me of what happened before and what could've happened. life is filled with what ifs, and sometimes what ifs takes over existence, and you only live with thoughts of the past, haunting you each and everyday. i want to rewind and make it right, i really want to, but i can't, and if i did, ill hurt someone else in between and i can never do that.
3. sometimes holding things in is too much. you want to let everything out, no secrets, nothing hidden, but you can't. because sometimes things get ugly and you feel oblige to keep it inside, at least until you find the way out.
sometimes the way out takes a long long time to find.
6. why be sad when you can be happy :)
i love you most ardently, 4:27 PM.
