Saturday, January 22, 2011
you
you with your words that cut,
your smile that pierces,
a subtle hint of irony,
you with your skin of pale,
your eyes consumed by Night,
a white Sepulchre
you with your dramatics,
your friends that laugh,
To kill a Mocking Walking Being,
you with your thoughts that contradict,
your faltering judgement,
your limitless grief,
your uncanny obsession over void,
your fear of death,
your hypocritical faith,
your love, that in the end matters not,
how can i respect you?
if you can't even respect yourself?
how can i look up to you?
how can i love you,
if you don't even love yourself.
i love you most ardently, 7:40 PM.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
enough
when i saw you outside my car window,
i felt nothing,
for the first time in the last six months,
it was easy for me to not feel anything,
which is strange considering that this time, last year
you were everything to me.
what i did feel was the fleeting twang of memory,
how probably this time last year, you were walking to your class,
holding your phone while texting me good morning to wake me up.
i realized that i no longer miss those text messages,
or you for that matter,
but i just remember them, and i'm beginning to remember things
in the absence of hurt.
i am grateful for acceptance, and time.
lately, i have been thinking about a lot of things.
i have this uncanny feeling about the future,
and although i try to think about it less, and less,
you make me realize that i have to think about it more and more.
i place myself relative to you
only to discover a transcendental contentment.
people search their whole lives to find a place to belong,
i think i've found mine.
but you give me no answers,
and like the coming hours and days,
i dislike uncertainties.
i've had enough,
i just want all this to end.
i love you most ardently, 8:16 PM.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
why i haven't been writing
i am tired. i am tired. i am tired. i do not make sense.
all i want is all this to be over,
go somewhere, become somebody.
become anything i can ever imagine,
and the things that i can't ever imagine.
i want the one thing i want right now.
i want to stop circling around in void,
and for once,
be sure of something.
i love you most ardently, 7:49 PM.
