Monday, July 26, 2010
dear you
dear you,
don't you see that just a little bit of you in my life,
could make it better by so much more than a little bit.
dear you,
don't you see,
that by just finally talking to me
you've made me realize,
how incandescently beautiful,
wonderful, amazingly perfect my life is
dear you,
don't you realize how infectious your smile is,
at least to me.
how a one minute smile,
could make me smile for days and days,
how the thought of finally being the girl who is able to make you smile,
makes me feel like i am the luckiest girl ever.
dear you,
how many times do i have to tell you,
to make you understand the most simplest concept
i've learnt in my life so far,
that though you may only be one person to the world,
for me,
you are my world and a thousand, a million, a trillion, times more than that.
i love you most ardently, 9:48 PM.
Monday, July 19, 2010
when i'm alone
when i'm alone,
i scroll down my inbox and read your text messages,
i've read them over and over again,
each night for the past few months,
because they somehow magically make you come to life,
in front of me,
no matter how far you may be.
when i'm alone,
i listen to music,
playing loudly into the night,
because i believe, that somewhere far away,
you're listening to the same song as me,
and that the song we listen to together,
might somehow although not directly,
make us whole,
once again.
when i'm alone,
i picture a million different realities,
a thousand different what ifs,
and you should know,
that you're in every reality i see,
except the reality that is actually,
and inevitably,
real.
when i'm alone,
i remember the many times you've said i love you,
you meant what you said at that time i know,
but it was tested and not true.
i think about what we are now,
and what we were back then.
what would it take for us to turn back time,
and be what we once were.
when i'm alone,
i think about how you were a beautiful twist to my story,
how you were the first guy i truly gave my whole,
and now with you gone,
i have nothing left,
because you didn't break my heart,
you killed it.
when i'm alone,
i think about when i will ever be able to love once again.
because you can't give your whole anymore,
when parts of it have been taken away, and destroyed.
out of everyone, you should know that best, shouldn't you?
when i'm alone,
i scroll down my inbox and read your text messages,
i've read them over and over again,
each night for the past few months,
because they somehow magically make you come to life,
in front of me,
no matter how far you may be.
when i'm alone,
i listen to music,
playing loudly into the night,
because i believe, that somewhere far away,
you're listening to the same song as me,
and that the song we listen to together,
might somehow although not directly,
make us whole,
once again.
when i'm alone,
i picture a million different realities,
a thousand different what ifs,
and you should know,
that you're in every reality i see,
except the reality that is actually,
and inevitably,
real.
when i'm alone,
i remember the many times you've said i love you,
you meant what you said at that time i know,
but it was tested and not true.
i think about what we are now,
and what we were back then.
what would it take for us to turn back time,
and be what we once were.
when i'm alone,
i think about how you were a beautiful twist to my story,
how you were the first guy i truly gave my whole,
and now with you gone,
i have nothing left,
because you didn't break my heart,
you killed it.
when i'm alone,
i think about when i will ever be able to love once again.
because you can't give your whole anymore,
when parts of it have been taken away, and destroyed.
out of everyone, you should know that best, shouldn't you?
i love you most ardently, 9:31 PM.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
once in a blue moon
once in a blue moon,
you meet someone so perfect,
so wonderful,
that after all these years of thinking you're something,
you realize that with him,
you're nothing.
once in a blue moon,
you are blessed with someone so open,
and honest,
someone so understanding and caring,
that his words or actions are nothing you can comprehend,
because you're the opposite,
a liar, a coward,
too naive to understand that sometimes,
things just aren't the way they often seem
once in a blue moon,
you meet someone so amazing,
someone with the invincible ability to change what is unchangeable,
to make you better, in a million more ways than one,
to painfully break you,
and to the world,
make you more beautiful.
once in a blue moon,
you meet someone so wonderful,
too wonderful,
that you become an absurd match,
and he leaves you,
sinking in your own pool of tears,
and trying ever so hard to become better,
whatever that means,
because once in a blue moon,
he may come back,
and you can finally show him,
that you're just,
as wonderful.
i love you most ardently, 5:33 PM.
Monday, July 12, 2010
i love you
please let yourself see me,
if only for a split second,
because only then will you realize
how much i still love you.
i love you most ardently, 9:05 PM.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
stupid girl
stupid girl,
i should've known,
i should've known
that im not a princess,
this ain't a fairytale
i'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
lead her up a stairwell- white horse, taylor swift
stupid girl
that's what i call myself every day,
for ever believing in you,
and for still believing in you today
i love you most ardently, 9:07 PM.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
don't you get it
someday i'll figure out how to win in this game,
even if it means losing four times consequently.
someday i'll understand why i deserved all this,
it's the well deserved karma that has continuously been adding up,
to which i can only respond to by saying,
karma really is a bitch.
but without it, how will i ever learn?
don't you get it?
i've had enough.
the impermanence of beautiful,
the transiency of perfection,
you've taught me a lot about contradictions,
and the amount of strength one person can ever have to pick up and keep going
don't you get it?
that i understand the way you think,
why we live in spine tingling silence,
why i keep everything to myself,
though it slowly kills me,
why you're pretending that everything's okay,
because the chances of us meeting is 1/13 560 798
too beautifully absurd
that you made it your escape
someday i'll figure out why i remembered you today,
even after realizing that happiness is found in being happy
without the things i don't and should not have.
maybe i remembered you because
like the contradiction you are,
you're not something i shouldn't have,
but rather,
inexorably and irrevocably,
should have.
i love you most ardently, 12:12 AM.
