Sunday, October 11, 2009
magical
i knew that he was magical from the moment i saw him
there was something about the way he looked at me,
if not, the way he looked at my direction. because who is to say that he did look at me. when you're perfect the imperfect matters no longer. but i was happy enough to see him and his magic.
i was in love. i had always been in love. a naive child, i was back then thinking that love is really something tangible. a four letter word, so simple, so beautiful. but then again, hate is also just another four letter word.
you see, i had never been a girl of impulse and surprises.
i lived life with utmost care, total and utter seclusion from the world that is existing.
i lived in a bubble, if you considered what i was back then living at all.
euphenisms abound, i was dead, and he brought me to life.
who was he then? and where did we meet?
i created him out of mere figments of my imagination intertwined into this magical figure of perfection.
yes, i knew what i wanted and we all want things that we can never ever receive.
there are times when fantasy is just better than reality, or let me put it this way, much safer and less hurtful than accepting the ugly truth of an ugly reality.
so i made him myself, this magical guy that will never exist. this magical guy of surprises, impulses, beauty. perfection.
he captivated, mesmerized. he took my breath away.
with him i am not myself you see.
with him, i allow myself to be overbearing, exuberent.
because after all it's all just pretend,
it'll never come true.
because when you live in some sort of cold bitter bubble like mine, you are incarcerated in some sort of fear. the fear of not being seen, of him not saying your name.
but i believe in miracles and magic
and that someday my prince will come, even if it takes forever.
so one day, as i was standing under the street lamp, my fingers intertwined inside my coat, cold from the snow, he walked up to me. yes, the guy of my imaginations, the guy of perfection, the guy of everything i had always thought of.
it was a surprise, it was a miracle just the way i like it.
just another one of life's surprises, the unexisting do exist, in a wholly different way perhaps, in a completely different time.
and so i told him my name.
i knew that he was magical from the moment i saw him
there was something about the way he looked at me,
if not, the way he looked at my direction. because who is to say that he did look at me. when you're perfect the imperfect matters no longer. but i was happy enough to see him and his magic.
i was in love. i had always been in love. a naive child, i was back then thinking that love is really something tangible. a four letter word, so simple, so beautiful. but then again, hate is also just another four letter word.
you see, i had never been a girl of impulse and surprises.
i lived life with utmost care, total and utter seclusion from the world that is existing.
i lived in a bubble, if you considered what i was back then living at all.
euphenisms abound, i was dead, and he brought me to life.
who was he then? and where did we meet?
i created him out of mere figments of my imagination intertwined into this magical figure of perfection.
yes, i knew what i wanted and we all want things that we can never ever receive.
there are times when fantasy is just better than reality, or let me put it this way, much safer and less hurtful than accepting the ugly truth of an ugly reality.
so i made him myself, this magical guy that will never exist. this magical guy of surprises, impulses, beauty. perfection.
he captivated, mesmerized. he took my breath away.
with him i am not myself you see.
with him, i allow myself to be overbearing, exuberent.
because after all it's all just pretend,
it'll never come true.
because when you live in some sort of cold bitter bubble like mine, you are incarcerated in some sort of fear. the fear of not being seen, of him not saying your name.
but i believe in miracles and magic
and that someday my prince will come, even if it takes forever.
so one day, as i was standing under the street lamp, my fingers intertwined inside my coat, cold from the snow, he walked up to me. yes, the guy of my imaginations, the guy of perfection, the guy of everything i had always thought of.
it was a surprise, it was a miracle just the way i like it.
just another one of life's surprises, the unexisting do exist, in a wholly different way perhaps, in a completely different time.
and so i told him my name.
i love you most ardently, 12:06 PM.
