Thursday, October 22, 2009
catch me when i fall
"before i fall, too fast, kiss me quick and make it last. so i can see how badly this would hurt me, when you say goodbye."- catch me-demi lovato
a million denials abound, and a thousand phrases delivered and yet not meant.
it is never easy being me,
not knowing whether i can find the sort of truth i am seeking within you.
like a sun melting, it's golden drops slowly dripping down the dark sky, like tears secreted when someone cries, you lure me into this acute world of beautiful feelings, smiles, laughter.
but are these things real?
or are they mere strands of an augmented truth, burgeoning to become something that will take over, all the corners of my heart.
you have the power to hurt me, just like that, you could
and i believe that someday you would.
you remain an enigma, something completely obscure.
i try to fathom your thoughts, i always do, and by now you should know that it is often impossible for me to ever understand what you're thinking.
i hide behind this masquerade of stolid humour and irascible demeanors, both of which were once statements that i only read about in books, but books, if not, stories comes alive. right now, if there is one thing i am sure about, that is it.
i hide the fear i have of once again being broken, of once again losing, of once again having recuperate from a brokeness underneath the heavy weight of lamentations and remorse.
i hide myself, and everything i am, so that you won't ever know, maybe because somethings are better left unseen, unfelt, untouched.
whatever is existing now, has the potential to go nowhere, if not, somewhere. the chances are endless, the existence of possibilities, a stretch longer than time in itself.
and there really is nothing left for me to do except let myself fall deeper, and deeper,
hopefully to find you somewhere down there,
catching me when i fall
"before i fall, too fast, kiss me quick and make it last. so i can see how badly this would hurt me, when you say goodbye."- catch me-demi lovato
a million denials abound, and a thousand phrases delivered and yet not meant.
it is never easy being me,
not knowing whether i can find the sort of truth i am seeking within you.
like a sun melting, it's golden drops slowly dripping down the dark sky, like tears secreted when someone cries, you lure me into this acute world of beautiful feelings, smiles, laughter.
but are these things real?
or are they mere strands of an augmented truth, burgeoning to become something that will take over, all the corners of my heart.
you have the power to hurt me, just like that, you could
and i believe that someday you would.
you remain an enigma, something completely obscure.
i try to fathom your thoughts, i always do, and by now you should know that it is often impossible for me to ever understand what you're thinking.
i hide behind this masquerade of stolid humour and irascible demeanors, both of which were once statements that i only read about in books, but books, if not, stories comes alive. right now, if there is one thing i am sure about, that is it.
i hide the fear i have of once again being broken, of once again losing, of once again having recuperate from a brokeness underneath the heavy weight of lamentations and remorse.
i hide myself, and everything i am, so that you won't ever know, maybe because somethings are better left unseen, unfelt, untouched.
whatever is existing now, has the potential to go nowhere, if not, somewhere. the chances are endless, the existence of possibilities, a stretch longer than time in itself.
and there really is nothing left for me to do except let myself fall deeper, and deeper,
hopefully to find you somewhere down there,
catching me when i fall
i love you most ardently, 8:46 PM.
