Thursday, December 24, 2009
it's christmas
and it is also time to be verbose, superfluous
and to once again explore the enigmas of life, in my own, be it superficial, one sided, or somewhat enlightened perspective. it all depends, on how one views my rants, most of the times incomprehensible in so many ways.
it's christmas and we walk alone,
two strangers with no one to miss us
on our own,
out in the cold
trudging onward, braving a harsh winter storm
you and i met passing by
and now our spirits feel warm
i don't have anyone to talk to
and you don't have anything to do,
so i'll spend my christmas with you
- a christmas song, owl city
the song in itself delineates what i've been feeling, the seemingly venal and distorted view i have of christmas, that is ever so often exacerbated by selfish, self centered desires. the world however, does not revolve around me, and i now know that for sure.
life is amazingly indefinite. it vacillates and wavers in between emotions and resolutions. it hides many facets, more than one could ever comprehend and learn, and yet, that is the very essence which makes life all the more interesting.
think about the emptiness you feel when something is just gone so suddenly, and the confinement that conceals you within pools of tears and vacant memories. where is the resilience? the strength? the faith that life will take you somewhere beautiful, somewhere amazing, somewhere better?
this christmas, i learnt that feelings changes, so very fastly, and easily. maybe because saying i love you requires more than just the feeling itself, if what one feels was really love at all. because i learnt that actions speak a million times more than words. it is hard to keep the promise of loving someone, once one has said i love you. i made that mistake, of thinking love as something so simple and straightforward.
and right now, the celerity in which my feelings have changed proves the shallowness of my convictions.
but at the same time, i am glad that life did not tie me down with the strands of petty and trivial love.
as for what im feeling now, i take it day by day.
like owl city's christmas song, sometimes a day is defined by coincidences and instances. the existence of fate coincide with these factors, thus amalgamating the tiny aspects of our everyday into what we call, life.
enough cheese and hackneyed commentaries for a day?
this will have to do, at least for the while.
merry christmas everyone.
xx
i love you most ardently, 11:01 PM.
