two thousand ten

"the whispers turn to shouting, the shouting turns to tears, the tears turn into laughter, and it takes away our fears"

i have five drafts typed up and yet unfinished, all under the same title, new years.
for once, i am out of words.
not in the flabbergasted, surprised, enthralled kind of way.
i am out of words simply because there is nothing left to say.
so here goes. an extremely random and inexorably morbid entry. forgive me for starting the new years this way. is there be a paradox between starting new years sadly and having awesome months to follow? if there is, i'll be waiting for my miracle.
sometimes i turn my music on a little bit too loud,
to drown out the defeaning silence if not loudness of emptiness,
to fill in the empty holes within me and make me whole, albeit, fleetingly.
sometimes the only things you can truly count on are the inanimate,
for they do not have the innate ability to hurt you.
the inanimate listens, it does not respond.
the inanimate stays stoic, it does not love.
and yet, it can never hurt you, and sometimes that is all that ever matters.

have an awesome new year everyone

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"and being a girl could be about interest rates and skinny jeans, riding bikes and wearing pink. not about any one thing, but everything" - along for the ride, sarah dessen