cause every hello ends with a goodbye i don't know where to start,
because sometimes there are just too many words to say,
too many stories to tell,
that you just don't know where it all begins,
where it all started,
the boundaries of once upon a time.
but you always know where it ends.
i know that
i deserve text messages in the morning saying have a nice day with smiley faces,
and ones at night saying i love you.
i deserve phone calls saying good luck before tests,
and you to be there, albeit for a second,
every time i'm stressing out over homework
i deserve sunflowers on valentines day,
and saturday nights with you.
i deserve understanding,
and you to be there when you know that something is wrong.
i deserve you telling me the truth,
without me having to find out what it is myself.
i deserve you to mean it when you say i love you,
and not to say it to anyone else.
and most of all, more than anything else,
i know that i deserve the you i met so long ago,
the you that made my knees turn to jelly every time i read your text messages
the you that made happiness so tangible,
the you that made me smile,
every time i wake up in the morning.
though now it's very hard to believe that you were ever there all along,
i want to know the truth,
as much as it'll hurt, or make me happy,
i need to know the truth,
and this time,
it needs to come from you.
as for now,
i am tired of wondering in void,
and circling in this semiconscious dreamland
knowing that there might never be a way out
and
it is never too early to say goodbye,
because every hello always has to end with a goodbye
i love you most ardently, 4:43 PM.