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Saturday, March 27, 2010

is this enough

i hate being the girl who is too strong, that no one knows she's hurting deeply.
i hate being the girl who tries so hard to always be happy,
that she hurts herself in the end.

do i have to say i love you in all the languages of the world
just to let you know how much i still love you?
do i have to learn how to play all your favorite songs in the guitar
just to make you realize how much i still think about you?
do i have to read and re read your text messages at night
just to show you how much i still care about you?

do i have to skip dinners to cry in my room,
draw pictures in black and white,
lock myself at home on saturday nights,
write a million blog entries which you won't ever read,
lie to everyone, even the people i love, that i am okay,
that everything will be fine,
and cut myself
just to find something that hurts more than thinking about you.

is this enough?
is anything ever enough for you?

i love you most ardently, 7:18 PM.

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claudia natasia
i like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly
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▪ paris
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truth speaks
"and being a girl could be about interest rates and skinny jeans, riding bikes and wearing pink. not about any one thing, but everything" - along for the ride, sarah dessen