Monday, July 19, 2010
when i'm alone
when i'm alone,
i scroll down my inbox and read your text messages,
i've read them over and over again,
each night for the past few months,
because they somehow magically make you come to life,
in front of me,
no matter how far you may be.
when i'm alone,
i listen to music,
playing loudly into the night,
because i believe, that somewhere far away,
you're listening to the same song as me,
and that the song we listen to together,
might somehow although not directly,
make us whole,
once again.
when i'm alone,
i picture a million different realities,
a thousand different what ifs,
and you should know,
that you're in every reality i see,
except the reality that is actually,
and inevitably,
real.
when i'm alone,
i remember the many times you've said i love you,
you meant what you said at that time i know,
but it was tested and not true.
i think about what we are now,
and what we were back then.
what would it take for us to turn back time,
and be what we once were.
when i'm alone,
i think about how you were a beautiful twist to my story,
how you were the first guy i truly gave my whole,
and now with you gone,
i have nothing left,
because you didn't break my heart,
you killed it.
when i'm alone,
i think about when i will ever be able to love once again.
because you can't give your whole anymore,
when parts of it have been taken away, and destroyed.
out of everyone, you should know that best, shouldn't you?
when i'm alone,
i scroll down my inbox and read your text messages,
i've read them over and over again,
each night for the past few months,
because they somehow magically make you come to life,
in front of me,
no matter how far you may be.
when i'm alone,
i listen to music,
playing loudly into the night,
because i believe, that somewhere far away,
you're listening to the same song as me,
and that the song we listen to together,
might somehow although not directly,
make us whole,
once again.
when i'm alone,
i picture a million different realities,
a thousand different what ifs,
and you should know,
that you're in every reality i see,
except the reality that is actually,
and inevitably,
real.
when i'm alone,
i remember the many times you've said i love you,
you meant what you said at that time i know,
but it was tested and not true.
i think about what we are now,
and what we were back then.
what would it take for us to turn back time,
and be what we once were.
when i'm alone,
i think about how you were a beautiful twist to my story,
how you were the first guy i truly gave my whole,
and now with you gone,
i have nothing left,
because you didn't break my heart,
you killed it.
when i'm alone,
i think about when i will ever be able to love once again.
because you can't give your whole anymore,
when parts of it have been taken away, and destroyed.
out of everyone, you should know that best, shouldn't you?
i love you most ardently, 9:31 PM.
