every time i listen to this song,
i begin to think of you.
there's something about the way the lyrics are put together
amalgamated from a million different things,
that makes me realize, no matter where i am,
or whatever i'm doing,
that though i may be extremely and infinitely sure that
you're the only exception,
you're just not.
yes, i'm too nice.
yes, i daydream too much.
yes, i believe in sweetness too much,
and accept reality too little.
yes, i'm too naive,
but i've been always been all these things,
and i will always be these things.
i think everyone looks for love,
no matter how cold they may be,
or how indifferent they are to their feelings,
they all look for love,
this love that we all look for, is the same kind of love,
a love that could traverse oceans,
last through life threatening moments,
sacrifice beyond limits,
and is patient at all circumstances.
and i realize that these were all the different things i thought i found in you,
because you were those things to me and so much more,
you were looking for love,
but you weren't looking for me,
and i on the other hand,
was unequivocally looking for you.
right now,
you're no longer the last thing i think about before i sleep,
nor the first thought that appears in my mind when i wake up.
i no longer think about all the wrong things you have done to me,
or all the wrong things i have done to you in return.
i don't think about how we tried to fix each other up so hard,
that we ironically ended up breaking each other, so much harder.
the words 'what if' no longer appears in my mind, because i no longer think about
what would've happened if my desires and yours intersected back then,
and if circumstances allowed us to be together.
i don't feel an interminable emptiness in my heart anymore when i'm alone,
and i don't cry when i realize that you're no longer there to fill the emptiness,
because by now,
i've already gotten the piece back,
and, albeit with you,
i can finally be whole again.
back then,
i thought that the only way i could ever heal was if you somehow returned back to my life
and once again, pick me up and help me heal.
there weren't any alternatives back then.
but then i realize that healing would always have to naturally start with me,
and the invincible ability of time, distance and our innate power, no matter how invisible this may be at times,
to slowly cover all the wounds, fill me up, and make me whole again.
you were once everything to me,
and i would be lying to myself if i said that i don't have feelings for you,
because i would always love you,
though the thing that makes this love different,
is how i have now realize that i will always love the person you were to me before
and not the person who you are now.
in life, it is physically and emotionally impossible for a person to fall in love with just one thing,
i fall in love with a million different things everyday,
and you just happen to be one of them.
right now,
i believe that one day,
though it may not be to you,
i would finally have be able and allow myself to look at someone in the eye and say,
darling,
you are the only exception